All right, white phase of BCT has begun this week. I find something amazing about it. This is the week where I have gotten the least amount of sleep, and the mind games are coming out.

I was a bit worried once over details I can't go into, but it had nothing to do with me, yet everyone could have suffered.

We started Basic Rifle Marksmanship. Once my weapon was zeroed and mixed my technique a bit, my last three rounds were right in the circle, including one of the being dead center.

Hmm, what else... it rains a lot. And when it rains, it pours.

My sickness is almost gone. Yay for that!

Ohh... redneck jokes! Jeff Foxworthy can use these.

You might be a redneck if...
...your voice literally sounds like Goofy, just with the good ole' redneck accent that you can't understand.
...you drive a three-wheeler, get into an accident, literally rip your face off, get back in the three-wheeler and drive home as if nothing happened.
...your wife is disabled from riding a three-wheeler.
...you failed the ASVAB test... (I bet 6-8th graders could pass it!)
...you pronounce the number 3 like "thwee".

more to come.

OH!! I almost forgot. My platoon failed miserably on our company motto from teh switch from red to white phase. So much that First Sergeant changed our mascot from Bulldawgs to Fluffy Poodles. Our team color is also pink.

Drill Sergeant Hyde then had us change our motto and we had to use the melody from "Barbie Girl". Our motto goes like this:

"We're the fluffy poodles/ in a Delta world/ all taped in pink man /yeah this shit's fantastic/ you can stop and stare/ and mock us everywhere/ just know we'll beat you in pugils and combatives"

One fluffy poodle signing off,
Daniel D. Heier

P.S. Other funnies: Drill Sergeant Hyde likes to draw tattoos with sharpies and give nicknames. Blossom got a daisy on *his* cheek. I almost got the Hitler mustache, but I was too sweaty for it to draw on, so I ended up with nothing! Other nicknames: Blossom, Quaf, Dirty Sanchez, Rico, Grandma, and Teabag.

Also, we just had to sing "99 Bottles of Beer on teh Wall". At 4:41 A.M. to be exact. oh, the joys of BCT.

One more thing... the whole redneck numbers...

wun, toooo, thwee, fah, five, six, sevin, ate, nine.

The key to saying these "numbers" like a redneck is stress the vowels! Good practice would be to over-exaggerate the vowels. Sound them out for 2 seconds (of course in a real conversation it would be much less time).

So... recap...

long & stressed vowels is a good start to build your redneck slang. Also start making your voice sound like Goofy... put these together, and you're well on your way to talking like a redneck.

DONE.
Wow... this is a long blog.